This Sunday we had a guest speaker. I really look forward to hearing him when he is able to make the trip. Different voices can spur me to action. Different perspectives can convict me in new areas. I download sermons and speeches to my IPod so I, at least, have the option to learn when waiting on my car or in a doctor’s office. Sometimes, I just play Bedazzled.

The topic this Sunday was loving those who do not have a relationship with Jesus.

You will notice that I do not blog every day. Yesterday, I had every intention of blogging but my day took a different turn. I accompanied a relative of mine to an annual series of testing. My job is to accompany, listen, remember, write down, schedule, wait and drive. Glamorous…no, a privilege..yes.

I was able to spend the rest of the day with my family, and had a scrumptious dinner at the restaurant where we had our rehearsal dinner. It was a wonderful, abnormal day.

It seems that I have more abnormal days than normal, anymore. This wasn’t always the case, but I am learning to take the day as it is prepared for me. I pray about it, so it must be right.

The more that I embrace the abnormal schedule, as opposed to the predictable schedule, I have more experiences with people who do not have a relationship with Jesus. I see this trend growing in my life.

As a blogger, I interact with other women of faith, which thrills me; but, as a believer, I am called to live the commission to which we have all been appointed. Jesus commissioned us face-to-face, and I still believe in the power of human contact when doing ministry.

If I am to be completely honest, I pray for these opportunities to be used by God, yet, when it involves loving strangers I find that I am a little shy to complete them. Love can cross this timid line which makes me second guess extending my love to the unknown. It is a place that I need to grow in understanding and in truth.

Perhaps, I misunderstand how to love a stranger.

This Sunday, one simple point in the sermon cleared so much up for me. I learned the right way to fish for men. These fishermen that Jesus spoke to were fishing with a net. When you fish with a net, you catch all kinds of stuff. Our job is not to sort the fish, but to love. We let the angels do the dirty work of the sorting. We just love on everything in that net.

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and caught fish of every kind; when it was full, they drew it ashore, sat down, and put the good into baskets but threw out the bad. So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous…” – Matthew 13:47-49, NRSV

Simple?

Not for me.

This Sunday I learned that to love…

I need to intentionally place myself amongst those who do not know Jesus.

I need to act lovingly by speaking the name of Jesus to those who do not know Him.

I need to forget about sorting and just love.

This changes so much for me.

Does it change anything for you?

Living in the Southwest is a little different. I grew up in Texas, but it is still green in Texas. Here we live in dessert.

There is so much beauty hidden around here. We have a lot of succulents, these cactus type plants that thrive here. I found this amazing new center plant for my outside table this weekend.

It is comforting to me to know that there are so many kinds of beauty. I am not the most faithful, most prayerful, most talented or most eloquent. I am one. For every woman there is a different kind of beautiful. I know this because God made each one, wove each one, breathed life into each one.

I have no problem looking out and seeing all of the other kinds of beauty, but sometimes it is hard to find it in this one, my one. What can He possibly see in this daughter?

I want to cry out, just like Peter, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” (Luke 5:8b). The more that I shout this out, the more God tells me who I am, and who He is. I am small, but He is big. I am incapable, but He is endless. I am sinful, but He is holy. I am ugly at heart, but He makes all things new.

I am not the kind of beauty that flowers or explodes once a year. I am a succulent that has survived the droughts. I have grown even though it appears slow. I am not desired for my aroma or my worldly beauty, but I am consistent. I steadily plug forward even when I don’t feel Him. I have been tested and I try.

The question that I seem to be asking myself is, am I willing to be this kind?

I would love to be a peony or a rununcula. That is not what I am, though, from the inside out. Am I willing to be unremarkable, or will I try to paste the petals of flowers on my slick frame to make myself more tolerable for me?

To be true to myself and to weather this life as one. One kind of beauty, created, woven and breathed. To represent Him as I was made to be. What a challenge, this one.

Is this “one” a challenge for you?