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Opening Wells Where The Waters Are Deep

7:02 pm By

I am in the middle of a lesson. I do not know the outcome, but let’s just say that God has my ear.

I am in Jeremiah because I had this series of weird dreams and Jeremiah kept coming up. So, to Jeremiah I went. I won’t lie; I feel a bit like Indiana Jones seeking out answers. It is pretty thrilling.

This morning, I found this.

As a well keeps its water fresh,

so she keeps fresh her wickedness;

violence and destruction are heard within her;

sickness and wounds are ever before me. (Jeremiah 6:7, NRSV)

Getting past the obvious…this was intended for Israel, not me. I get that. The relevancy of the prophets always amazes me, though. So, I am honored to learn from the relationship of God and Israel.

The well keeps its water fresh. Innermost is the water of our well. It has its own sound, its own rhythm. It is the undercurrent of the words and actions of a people, or a person. Everyone has this audible quality. It is the sound of our hearts. This is what can be heard by our friends, neighbors, those around us. The sound within our heart comes from the water of our well.

I fear failure more than anything else in the world. The water of my well is kept fresh by staying one step away from ridicule, shame, rejection and trust. I actively bubble in the effort to maintain my safety.

If I wanted to sound pious, I would say that I keep my water fresh with the word of God. Well, that is true. The word is my lifeline from this well in my chest. I must hold tight because my well is fresh with my defenses and cautiousness. It is in need of a formidable foe.

My well tells me that I couldn’t bear to be vulnerable to this world.

So, what is heard within me? What is the audible quality that penetrates through my words and expressions? What does my heart sound like?

No, I am not emotionally available.

No, I cannot open my life to that right now.

I am not willing to serve you in that capacity.

I don’t want people too close to my well. No one wants to hear the fear of another. Isn’t there enough fear in the world, already? The further that you get from the well where the word of God and my most secret thoughts reside, the safer I am.

The most sophisticated manipulation of our undercurrent is what we are willing to lay bare to our Creator. What does all of this fear and bubbling look like in front of God? Israel brought sickness and wounds; the exterior manifestation of an inward problem.

I can go for a long time without acknowledging the undercurrents of my life, even to myself. Occasionally, they will rise to the surface looking like momentary depression or a desire to hide away. Sometimes they will look like envy of those who seem to have no duplicitous waters running deep in their wells. At these times, I ask God to forgive me for my emotional state. We don’t talk about my fear. We don’t talk about my exhaustion from staying one step ahead of failure.

This is an old human pattern, to an old human problem.

Everyone has sin from the inside out. Everyone hates their sin from the inside out. This verse has challenged me to open up the well in my chest and lay it bare before the Lord of hosts, my Father.

I am sure that there are some of you who desperately want to be refreshed, but the task is daunting. Take heart. This is a God who did not forsake His people, but claimed them once and for all with the death of His son. His heart is so gentle and desires to beat with ours. He wants to be the voice heard within us, and the source of our fresh water.

Anyone want to go on this well-opening journey with me?

What is keeping your water fresh?

Father, thank you for calling us to genuine relationship. Lead us to freedom from all of the undercurrents of our lives. Bring us to know you as the sound of our hearts.

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Genuinely Fighting

6:09 pm By
I remember when my husband and I just got married, all those three years ago. I am not sure what we thought marriage would be like, but it was not. We have come to the consensus that it is better than we anticipated, yet, kind of like you thought you were joining the volleyball team and ending up in aquatic dancing. We could not have conceived of it, but love the water.

This is one of our pictures…aaahhhh!

That first year was marked with what we now consider a string of unnecessary battles. I have to giggle as I write this, as can everyone remembering their first year of marriage, I am sure.

My husband is an early riser, although we have kind of averaged it out now so that we both get up around 6:15. I was in grad school when we got married and so I stuck to no particular schedule. This meant that every morning, when he got up, he would make coffee and feed the dogs.

One day he told me the truth about how that made him feel. He did not want to always be the guy on dog duty first thing in the morning. We had four dogs at the time, so I can see his point. It would, also, be nice to see his wife over a cup of coffee, occasionally, instead of complaining about her miniscule share. To say the least, I was not interested in a discussion involving movement of my sleeping patterns.

So, I basically told him to deal with it. What a sweet girl, I was! I was ready to go toe-to-toe when my husband had put a perfect opportunity for servitude right in front of me. Now I see those as little love nuggets, they are the “gimmes” that speak to his heart. He drops them along the path, and I am considered above all wives when I swoop in and pick them up. At this point in my newlywed life, though, I still needed a translator.

Now we actually laugh at the fact that we would bother to argue over dog food and coffee, but at the time it felt really important. Don’t most of our battles feel really important in the moment?

My response to the situation in our home was not about waking up early or late, though. It was about my heart.

I did not really come to understand this until last year, although I had said it before then. The most obvious evidence of where I am spiritually is how I deal with relationships in my home. The interaction of home life is the litmus test of our heart. It tells us if our faith is genuine, if it permeates our flesh.

1 Corinthians 11:19, “Indeed, there have to be factions among you, for only so will it become clear who among you are genuine.”

It is interesting that factions are independent of peacemakers. Being a peacemaker does not mean that you will not experience discord or factions. One of the greatest points of growth in a home comes from disagreement. A peacemaker focuses on what to do with this disagreement? How should it play out?

Some people will say that the home is the place where they see all of your lumps and bumps, and you don’t have to pretend to be good there. Absolutely, but I have found that I can’t excuse my relational laziness to my poor family because they have the curse of proximity. My husband does not deserve my apathy in return for his needs. I was the one who had to change.

Proverbs tells us that the home is the place to learn wisdom. It is the place to try on the Fruits while in disagreement, because it is safe. When these things are planted at home, we can handle the factions in the world or in the church because we have practiced. God has trained us up. Our hearts are trustworthy because they remember what to do.

Some of the most wonderful times in my marriage have come from sitting with my husband in the early morning, talking and praying over a hot cup of coffee. I can’t imagine not having that time with him. So, it is easy for me to say now, “You were right, babe!”

How do you handle factions in your homes? Any tips?

Father, thank you for allowing factions that bring us near to your Spirit. Bring us before you when we face these challenges, and train us how to disagree in a way that honors you.

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