Woman. Faith. Words

My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing. – James 1: 2-4, NRSV

God is not a magician.

These words have not been far from my mind since I heard them in church, four years ago.  It was a message about the human expectation of God.  At this time, I had successfully weathered some difficult family issues, a health issue and some normal relationship difficulties.  I nodded my head knowingly at the speaker’s words and said a silent, “Thank you!”, that I had learned this lesson unknowingly.

Sitting there, I could not know that the years to come would bring an obstacle course of challenges to redefine me.

I was able to listen to that message with confidence and gratitude because I had witnessed the endurance and joy that James touted.  God allowed me to claim victory over event after event that settled on my doorstep.  Huddled into His side, I offered my trust, my future and my present.

And, then I took a breath.
This breath happened somewhere between regaining mobility after back surgery and an amazing pregnancy.  I surveyed all that God had done and I declared it good.  Then, I realized that I, Tracy, was tired of obstacles.

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From his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.  The law indeed was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. – John 1:16 & 17, NRSV

“I am completely making up this ‘mom thing’”.  I say this over and over, and as much as I wish it was partially untrue, I assure you it is entirely true.  Humbly I admit that I have no idea what I am doing, but I trust my 11 month old teacher.  He is my first, and I am green.  I admit that I have no answers, but I am willing and determined to learn.

Case in point, I have learned that there is a universal “witching hour” for children.  It falls some time between the final nap and dinner.  Moms and dads are tired and have run through all of the scheduled activities for the day, and children are ready to find where the real boundaries lie.  It is a lonely reality when the restlessness begins, as if all of the children of the world were telekinetically joined.  Creepy really.

This, and my belief in fresh air for children, are the reason that I walk with my son in the afternoons. We move off of our street and carefully find our way through the traffic, and on to the park.  Recently, I have become tired of seeing junior high school-ers making out in this “community common space”, and I decided to extend our path through the neighborhoods which skirt the Preserve.

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